Essbee's Place

Any LJ HELP for controlling Friend Add Requests?

2009-05-17T11:17:32Z

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER WHERE THE SETTING IS TO ADJUST HOW YOU ALLOW FRIEND ADD REQUESTS?

OK, I am being attacked by Russian bots and possibly other that are adding me as friends b/c I left my friends setting as "add - no approval necessary" Obviously, my naivete has created a few issues. First they are not my friends and second (and so forth) the one journal is completely in Russian and for all I know could be selling minor brides and the other is basically an advertisement! Yuck!!!! LJ does seem to be aware of the Russian bot invasion, but unless they are found to be legit bots LJ doesn't delete them. As of last week I have two support requests out to LJ asking how I control this setting but so far no response. I have been desperately seeking this setting and in all my computer literacy and degrees have yet to find it :(...could not find it in FAQ/HELP. Perhaps in my panic to get to the the setting I have gone blind. So please, anyone know? Any and all help appreciated

Thanks,

Ess

Star Trek the movie +++++++

2009-05-08T13:16:33Z

It's a big day around the country for Star Trek fans and my money is on the fact that they will be very pleased!

There was a preview showing last night which I took my mom to see for Mother's Day as she is a big fan as well. Every year she actually puts up a special fiber optic Star Trek tree covered in years of collector ST ornaments for the winter holiday. Seven-of-nine being the tree topper, of course :). However, after this movie I am thinking that the young Kirk as played in this current flick may be bumping Seven.

The movie was well done. So well done in fact it is a GREAT movie. It is neither overdone nor underdone in plot or characters. It was all spot on and a lot of fun and adventure as well. If you haven't seen it and are at all interested in sci-fi or not, a ST fan or not, then there is only one thing to do...GO and enjoy some great film-making and a new era of Star Trek greatness!

Another sad and shameful instance of belonging to the human species

2009-05-04T14:38:47Z

I am seriously concerned about Egypt's actions to slaughter 300K pigs this year (and when Avian flu came around they killed many many thousands of birds - its horrible!) Please, why is no country stepping in and saying anything about the mass slaughter of pigs in Egypt and putting a stop to it? Why is no one speaking up and instead letting it all pass as a silently sanctioned act of mass murder?

These are intelligent living creatures that we put to sacrifice for our human consumption. Now we are just plain out killing them b/c of potential danger?!?!? There is no evidence that any of this pigs being put to death even carry the virus. It is an abuse of human power and a gross over reaction. Furthermore, it is the human being that is the primary cause of this situation with the flu virus coming about in the first place. This insane and unwarranted brutality against these pigs is an abomination against all living creatures. Most definitely another sad and shameful day to be a human.

Honestly, I am not a PETA lunatic - don't even belong to the group. Eat all the meat you want, just do so with awareness and sincere gratitude for the life that was given for you to have such nourishment. Teach your children that meat comes from living creatures and teach them to be thankful for what was given for them to be able to eat such food. It is not enough to bestow kindness only from human to human. Humans must bestow kindness, humility and compassion toward ALL living creatures, plants and animals alike!

What's goin' on...

2008-09-09T23:55:56Z

with me lately? Good question, real good question! And one I don't intend to answer...sometimes I play it close to the vest as they say. Just seems a little less confusing that way. Sometimes well meaning peeps just clutter us up with all their chit/chat. They surround you and support you how they want to know you and in a way that supports them rather than surrounding and supporting you for who we really are and who we are really capable of being. An interesting little twist on the dynamics of peeps. That's why cats and other pets, actually all animals are really cool - they just *IS*. I try to remember this with my very young and curious 3 year old tortie named Cayenne. Wooowee, she's a bad ass. Half the time I look at her I see her riding a Harley, leather pants, white tee (cigarettes sleeved) and one danglin outta her mouth. I thought about getting her a younger friend but I am afraid there would be gang related issues upon myself and my very sweet Tigger, a 17 year old domestic long hair. We'll see...perhaps a dog would be a more suitable match for my peppery little rebel Cayenne.

(no segue)

So for now, I am a turtle retreated to her shell. What do you think turtles do in their shells? Most people answer, hiding, hell maybe they play with themselves. (lol) Well maybe they do...but that really wouldn't be any of our business anyway - unless they came out of their shell....ahhh..never rmind the scatter. Anyway, perhaps, it isn't so much hiding but rather marinating in a flood of new experiences, thoughts, ideas, and keeping one eye here and now and the other on the next steps ahead, resting, rejuvenating, rearranging... Although I am not so sure what good it'll do seeing that the world is scheduled to end come Wednesday/Thursday http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,418582,00.html (as pointed out by mad scientist shadrone ). Especially in light of this world ending potentiality, I surely hope everyone finds lots of yummy kisses and has hot whorey ravaging sex tonight!

Hmm, this might urn out pretty good and may be just the ticket I need outta this place and back home in the stardust (after the hot sex, of course!). In the mean time I shall return my attention back to a wonderful little vampire novella.

Enjoy!
Ess.

Today's Chinese Cookie Fortune

2008-08-25T17:20:14Z

What is to give light must endure the burning.

Never heard it put quite this way and it resonates and strikes me at a very real basic level... its like "of course, how obvious!", but then there is this hrmmm factor to it. Other thoughts/ruminations?

Happy Day!

2008-08-17T16:12:14Z

My day greeted me with a warm smile elicited from an awesome text message. Then got to hang out in the kitchen for a bit and prepare some watermelon slices with strawbberry garnish for a brunch party. Then went trail running with a great gal pal So many happy people out biking, walking dogs, running along the trail. We ended the run with a yoga stretch and a meditation at this incredible herb and flower garden tucked away in the middle of downtown. (Like who knew such a gift existed hidden n the middle of everything). It is a wonderful day and so cool to be around and appreciating all the different kinds of life out there; the bees, and the butterflies, fruits and veggies,and flowers and people that make up the buzz of this earth. It [earth] really is an incredible organism.

Here's wishin' everybody a most fantastical and wonderful sunshiny kind of day! And that ya'll get out and live your day in total appreciation and enjoyment of all that is going for you.

Love and Light,
Ess

When nothing is sure...

2008-08-14T11:51:17Z

When nothing is sure, everything is possible.

-- Margaret Drabble (1939-) English Novelist

Initial boot after OS install --> "disk boot failure, insert system disk and press enter"

2008-08-07T02:43:46Z

This is what happened to me after trying to install Debian Etch. I have done plenty of Linux installs in a variety of flavors and never really have installs go to horribly wrong. Meaning unless I tried some funky setup in expert install mode my installs are usually successful. After this particular install this is what happened. The system was rebooted and got to the where it gives PCI Device listing and then tells you...

Verifying DMI Pool Date.......
Boot from CD: *cursor blocks here*

Since this wasn't even getting to the GRUB bootloader, I wasn't really even able to assess that this was a bad install. However I was playing with partitioning scheme that used LVM and thought maybe I messed up the partitioning or that something was mucked up hardware wise. Always good to do the basic check are all cables plugged in securely, powered, hardware in good physical working order, etc. Must be out of practice b/c I didn't even think to check hard drive jumper settings. (anyone know if HD jumper settings detected/viewable in bios?)

Interestingly enough what pointed me to this was a very lucky late night search on the web that lead me to http://linux.derkeiler.com/Mailing-Lists/Debian/2003-07/0892.html.
It pointed to the possibility that the boot failure was due to a HD jumper setting. Sure enough when I took a look at my hard drive jumper settings it was jumpered as Dual (Master) and yet it is the only hard drive.

Obviously, it needs to be jumpered as single or cable select. Check your hard drive manual for jumper settings. A lot of times these can be found on the manufacturer's web site for the make and model of your hard drive. However, sometimes the factory sticker on the top of the drive gives a jumper map. This can be a bit of a hassle if your hard drive is screwed in and the sticker is not viewable.

What in Crayola is this!!!

2008-08-02T01:27:21Z

That is "Pink Slip" dress and is made with Crayola crayons. That is right, CRAYONS! Currently it is owned by and on display in the Hotel Preston (Nashville, TN). It is one of many playfully crayon sculpted pieces that are the unique creation of a really delightful, mindful, down-to-earth friendly young artist, Herb Williams. I had the pleasure of meeting him at an artist reception for his show, Standing on the Shoulders of Giants, at a local art gallery. There I witnessed twenty-five or so pieces of his original work, as well as a viewed a portfolio of his works that are now sold or in private collections. The show contained mostly pieces from his crayon sculpture collection, but there were also a few of his mixed media portraits. More of his portrait-type work can be seen within his the color of luck collection. All of his work is really something and seems imbued with the catchiness created by a person's joy, love and wonderment for what they do.

After a brief gallery introduction to the artist and milling about, I had the opportunity to speak with Herb Williams alone for a short time. I asked him about his thoughts and connections on a few of his pieces on display and in his portfolio. He is incredibly bright, warm and a wonderfully engaging conversationalist, and is very connected to his artistic motivation and the results of that motivation. It really seems (to me) his artistic motivation is his way of living on purpose. He pays respects to a broad spectrum of lighter inspirations, wonderment, playfulness, the ordinary, and the extraordinary, darker curiosities and inclinations of humankind. This is found throughout his work in layers of subtly (Homage to Beuys - to understand this you need to know a little bit about the artist Joseph Beuys ) as well as more direct cues of a written word (Artist Wheel of Fortune). Despite this broad spectrum, really every piece has depth well beyond surficial treatment of the subject matter at hand. Meaning some of his work conveys a concept which appears simple enough (Homage to Holzer). However, it isn't long before you sink into the proverbial rabbit holes of deeper questioning of the artist's intent and purpose, and your own interpretation and daily experience and/or struggle with the concept you are witnessing through the artistic work. Most of all it seems Herb Williams is following a passion all his own. This clearly shows in the elaborate weave of subject matter that he covers and his choices of artistic media. The combination is the difference and the authenticity found within the intelligence of this artist and his creations. It is quite imaginable that future generations of artists and art lovers will one day be standing on the shoulders of Herb Williams.

Here are more of Herb Williams' works that I found particularly pleasing...

Homage to Hirst
64 Crayon - Front View and 64 Crayon Box - Back View
Commissioned Works: Pink Slip, Silverware II, Blue Tick Hound, Falling Color, The Blues
Crayon Sculpture: Silverware, Red Head, Purple Heart, Color Blind
William Edmondson - This is a mixed media portrait.

At the gallery, I did get to hear Williams speak on the William Edmondson portrait where he voiced an incredible amount of respect and admiration for this great artist. Edmondson was a brilliant limestone sculptor in the late 19th - mid 20th c. Williams elaborated that this was his rendition of Rodin's "The Thinker" reinterpreted to a vision of W. Edmondson surveying and participating in the mindful rigor of sculpting limestone. In addition to portraits, there are other non-crayon works that I also enjoyed taking a look at. Again, I didn't see any like this at this particular showing, but these are also likable and found at the Rymer Gallery in Nashville, TN

Admittedly I am not a regular art show attendee. My initial draw to this show was all about following my extreme like for crayons and color. I couldn't wait to see these sculptures in all their pretty new shapes and good old fashion Crayola colors! What crayon lover ever forgets all the yummy Crayola colors like cornflower, copper, maize, goldenrod, forest green, indian red (which has since been renamed to chestnut b/c it was not considered politically correct.). Oh, *happy sigh*, how I just love all these yummy colors!

There are many good times that I remember in connection with crayons. I remember what it felt to color within the lines to please adults, or older sisters, and friends who were foreboding about coloring "correctly" in their precious new coloring books, versus coloring outside the lines with a sense of recklessness and "letting loose" to answer those early calls of release, wildness, and rebellious nature, versus coloring my imagination to paper that had no lines. I remember getting different shades/depths from the same color by increasing or decreasing pressure on the crayon. Of course I remember how disappointing it felt to break the first crayon in a new box, but also discovered the incredible rejuvenating power of the crayon sharpener. I remember chewing on them once or twice and discovering that there is no difference in tastes between the colors and that these weren't going to be a good addition to my diet. And then there is a favorite fond memory of my childhood friend Joelle and I recycling unusable crayons by melting them together (w/mom supervision) into molds to make circular multi-color crayons. This last activity inevitably included spilling hot melted wax on my handmade light plaid yellow jumper with the Raggedy Ann patch...a sad day for that favorite outfit of 7 year old. It is very fair to say that Crayola crayons were my first real hands on experience with color play and artistic adventure. It is this type of interactive experience that indelibly mold and influence young minds. Coloring remains a joy of mine, and names of colors are fun, too. Its no mystery why I feel an immediate happy connection with Herb Williams' 21st century crayon sculpture creations.

The time I spent at this show was perfect. One of the best things was actually getting to talk with the artist and also listening to his responses to questions asked by other attendees. It really helped me fill in some gaps and brought a next level of appreciation to some of his pieces. With or without crayons, I ended up finding out that I truly enjoy the lot of Williams' work to date. Finally, one last interesting tie in here is that since early 1900's the Crayola factory has had a part in the history of my hometown area. Every third grader got to go to the Crayola factory. (Although somehow I missed this field trip.) The factory is about 10 miles or so from the art gallery. Of course when I was talking with Herb Williams I asked if he was planning on touring the factory while he was in town. He responded with a gleeful, "we do that tomorrow!". Undoubtedly he picked up some crayons for himself. Mostly, I really hope Mr. Williams enjoyed the tour.

It isn't gonna be that way

2008-07-23T23:37:42Z

--lyrics by Steve Forbert

You traveled so far the wind in your face
your thinking you found the one special place
where all of your dreams will walk out in line
and follow the course you made in your mind

It isn't gonna be that way, it isn't gonna be that way

I came on my own and felt much like you
(?) I thought I was King and you were to do
but everything burned and fell from my hand
I had to turn back or build a new plan

It isn't gonna be that way, it isn't gonna be that way
no it isn't gonna be that way. It isn't gonna be that way.

If I were a god, I'd give you a clue
this minute would crack and I could go through
and walk out in time where no one has been
I'd come back to you and tell what I'd seen

Oh but It isn't gonna be that way, it isn't gonna be that way

You'll just have to live and see what you find
and take it from there and follow the signs
Yeah you think you can live and dream your own fate
you think you can wish and walk through the gate

It isn't gonna be that way, it isn't gonna be that way.
and yeah no it isn't gonna be that way, it isn't gonna be that way.

(?): uncertainty on some words in line

The mind is energy. Regulate it.

2008-07-21T22:38:35Z

Normally a morning coffee drinker, my latest attempts at avoiding my roommates in the morning has relegated me to nuking water in my kitchenette for morning tea. Yes, I could use the coffee bag singles but under these conditions my buds only tolerate the "good to kick ass" cup of coffee. I've certainly devoted enough time to coffee drinking to warrant my snubbing of the singles under certain conditions. However, coffee bag coffee is considered kick ass and drunk with glee around the morning campfire of any backpacking trip I have taken.

I used to be die hard coffee drinker until last year. I went on this little "give it up" spree. Essentially I gave up alcohol, sugar (even fruit sugar), cigarettes, tv, sex, and coffee - each for at least 40 days in a row. It was a building on process for some of them. Meaning, I quit one thing for forty days, then quit another for forty days and kept adding on. So by the time I got to 200 d. I had given up alcohol for 200 d., cigarettes for 160 d., sugar for 120 d., coffee for 80 d., sex for 40 d., etc. It was all part of and also a result of my on-going Hatha and Kundalini yoga studies/training. No one asked me to do it, it wasn't required and it didn't elevate my yogini status or anything silly like that.

So all this "giving things up" sounds a little crazy to most, and perhaps asking yourself - why the hell would you do that? Why? B/c I was totally and utterly sick of myself and it was really time to let go and shake up my routine and gain some new perspective. Honestly, after the first 5 days or so the hard part isn't giving the stuff up. Actually the bigger challenge seems to be [for me] rediscovering yourself and (re)learning how to use/direct your energy in healthy positive ways rather than turning it on to other attachments and addictive patterns (e.g., shopping, talking/telling everyone what you are doing, etc,). Its really pretty amazing to watch your mind warp itself over the fact that it is no longer being occupied by the things you always "use" to do. Sometimes its funny, and other times it is just damn frightening to watch your mind/ feel yourself in this way. Either way, taking on the observer role to your thoughts, emotions, words and actions under new conditions gives you pretty good lessons on yourself. Among other things, you begin to internalize that so much of this stuff you engage in on a habitual basis has little of anything to do with who you are and has even less to do with what one is capable of achieving but they are false binds, ties and leads that lock you into narrow mind sets. You realize a lot of it is just ridiculous and many times unhealthy attachment. It was a really great experiencing life without all this stuff.

So did any of it stick? Yes a lot of it has. Of course after I declared and end to my first "give it up" spree I ran right back to it all between Xmas and the New Year and a little into February. Although the lag into February had to do with pretty awful family holiday brawl. It was ugly and took me a while to get my bearings - never seen/been apart of anything like it - never will be again. In fact seeing that my family generally isn't doing anything to address their issues and illnesses I am probably finding other things to do for the holidays this year. (Please, oh, please Great Gig in the sky help me find a perfect place to call home of my own well before Winter days). Anyway, the better news is that it wasn't long after returning to these things that I discovered I truly was no longer a smoker, and never will be again. After many attempts - 10 years of attempts to quit for good this time was different - vibrationally different - it was a solid, "Done with it!"

My view on sugar has completely changed. There is so much unnecessary sugar in everything these days and many times I now taste when even the tiniest amount of sugar is added to something I am eating/drinking. I discovered that (much like cigarettes) alcohol as a vice was not helping me run any faster or farther away from accumulated my stress, fears and terrors. As I like to say, there isn't a brewery anywhere in the world nor all the breweries combined together that could ever make enough beer for me to drink myself out of the head spaces that I had been running from since I was 9 or 10.

Today, I face things a lot more and really do try to deal with things the best I can as they come up. Best of all this stuff isn't using me anymore. It is me making a choice about when, where and why I am using it. I don't drink to make me feel good, b/c now I know that I am generally good and that makes me feel good. Yes I will still enjoy a beer or cocktail on occasion but its with pleasure and appreciation. Yes folks after a bazillion dollars and endless droning hours of therapy years earlier, never really getting anywhere, I accomplished all this in just over a year and all without the hoopla of therapy, 12 steppin and whining about it. Please note, that I think my prior therapy was valuable to some extent and was useful in its time and place back then. But none of it has ever resonated and worked form me like this past year of yoga, meditation and related diet/detox cleansing activities. I have my theories about why this system is so effective [for me] (...quick and partial idea here is that the body and mind embed memories in many layers of body, both its psychic and physical structure. You must therefore work to free embedded patterns from the physical, chemical, psychic and auric body layers (e.g., free them from emotional charge/chemicals of negative thouhts/memories, hurtful habits, false stories/lies we tell ourselves and keep us in hold us back, etc.). Yoga poses, kriyas, twists, bends, chants meditations, yogic diet, etc. really help work through all these layers as a whole system and like nothing else I have ever seen...anyway the rest/more is for another post - or feel free to ask). Yes, there were hard days in all of this - very hard, and still there are days that feel unbearable, but in all this you find a key ability to observe your mind and find a way to best support yourself through it - somedays this works better than others but...there seems to be more resilience. Perhaps because it is blatantly clear that everything is SO temporary - all of it and without exception...the good, bad, the beautiful, the ugly. Yes, still have plenty more work to do but basically I am really good, things are cool and wow what a feeling!!!

So where is all this going, what does the subject line have to do with it anyway? Kinda silly, but the Yogi Tea brand I like to drink applies the Chinese fortune cookie formula to tea bags. However it uses the sayings and teachings of one of the world's greatest Kundalini masters. This was the very message attached to this morning's cup of tea.

The mind is energy. Regulate it.
(--Yogi Bhajan)

Bang! POW! And just like that - there they were - after a week or so of being in some odd space - the very words I needed to hear coming to me from beyond the grave of a dead Yogi. Albeit he is forever a true master of the mind, body, spirit, and the Kundalini and his teachings timeless and boundless. A seemingly simple reminder that is chock full of precious truth and better yet direct instruction. Ok, so it skips the exact "how-to" but it is a reminder when we forget and start stumbling all over ourselves. The how-to by the way is the yogic practice, breath, postures, chants, mediation - start small, find what works for you. Also, this little gem is simply stating the base essence of yogic technology and of being. Again, it is with the experience of yoga practice that you begin to truly know what this is saying - it is fascinating - yet even now my understanding of this is so small compared to how hugely powerful and big the concept really is. Listen and do what is being conveyed here and it sets one on the road to endless, breathtaking, possibilities and beyond anything I could do justice writing about at this stage as there are many many more paces on this road for me...and no doubt an exquisite adventure it will be... :). So far it seems that there is an overall steady undercurrent of calm and peacefulness. So far this seems to be true no matter the obstacles or turbulent conditions I have had to face and pass through... so far anyway. Yoga, especially the Kundalini tradition [for me] has really been an unexpected tap root into some much needed sanity. Honestly, I would have never believed/expected it when I first started.

So ok, this is totally not how I saw this entry going...cookie crumbs :(. All might be well, but I kinda sometimes really seem to suck at this live journal stuff, and really want to be a better writer/journaler!

Dalai Lama Day

2008-07-15T09:33:06Z

Today, yes today, I went to see the Dalai Lama! No kidding, I really went to see him. So, yes, the University in the town where I grew up brought him in for a week long lecture series on the three volume series of _Tsong-kha-pa’s The Great Treatise on the Stages of the Path to Enlightenment: The Lamrim Chenmo_ . Sunday, some one came up with a free ticket for today and who could refuse that? I certainly couldn't, wouldn't and didn't refuse such a great ticket!

(Needed to block the names of the original ticket holder. Sorry all in all it is not such a great photo - perhaps I'll scan it in next time...)

Today's talks centered on the content of volume 3 in the series. It included the description of the tool of meditation, developing deep insight and the idea of emptiness in the tradition of Tibetan Buddhism. Really incredible to hear him approach the information in a matter of fact way but with the appropriate amount of insight and explanation that belies the realization of enlightenment. Intent, dedication and commitment to such a path opens doors and enlightened movement that is available to anyone and everyone equally - be ye a master (the Dalai Lama), a practicing monk or any everyday people like you and I. Of course he was full of good humor and incredible wit. Truly, what an honor to be in the presence of both his company and words.

Above is His Holiness the Dalai Lama. He is in the center on the fancy chair (of course). If you look to the big screen on the left you can kinda see a better view of him (albeit not real clear b/c of phone camera quality). There are also monks on the stage floor to both his left and right. As far as I know, these are the monks that travel, study and practice with him.

While I would have liked to attend the whole series, it didn't happen that way. Basically I could not have gone on better day for me. As there have definitely been some questions I am mulling over lately about my own meditation practice, along with some other developments as a result of my meditation practice.

More later...just wanted to get this initial thought down in the personal history books. Big day, with a truly inspirational man, his holiness the Dalia Lama.

Part 2: The Ant and the Grasshopper - Version 3 - Current Reality?

2008-07-13T13:19:56Z

If you haven't already, read part 1 below first. For whatever reason the Internet joke in part 1 got me thinking and all of sudden my heart filled with a passion and drive to speak up and offer another point of view ... please note the tone is more matter of fact and driving but not angry...its more of shock and disbelief at what is going on in our country and this world today and wondering how/what I can do ...I am still not sure but I keep with small actions; listen, ask hard questions, stay on my toes, keep learning how to analyze things for myself, vote, keep reading and educating myself, help a neighbor, and keep my eyes open for other opportunities. Not that I have to tell anyone but for the curious...I am registered Independent, usually agree with both democratic and independent ideas however have also agreed with some republican ideas as well. Therefore I have been known vote for the best person to do the job regardless of party affiliation and I do vote in all elections that I am able to as an independent. Yes, I did vote in the last presidential election and NO, I certainly did not vote for this clown Bush. Personally, I'd rather see the bottom rung clown from Barnum & Bailey's circus in office over this amorphous blob of a vapid self-righteous, self-serving dummy...err puppet....err mean person (sorry, my bad I still get confused about what exacty he is). I believe we actually have no idea how debilitating, defeating and insidious his actions and those of his followers/supporters/puppeteers have been to the American people. BUT, have no fear they are about to be exposed as they exit the offices, and we are all about to find out the devastating price we are going to pay for many years down the road for what can only be called a gross oversight of an apathetic American democracy. The problem isn't the parties in charge the problem is the people who are/aren't participating in putting people in these positions that truly represent what American people want and need and an American public that has no way for quickly firing these people from these positions when they stop representing our best interests and stop doing their job as CIVIL SERVANTS. As they are not there to serve themselves they are there to uphold an office that SERVES the PUBLIC.

Now remember this is a story - just as probable as the earlier versions of this story. Yes, some of its complexity has been reduced to keep things brief - and to let the reader run off with his/her own imagination. Any resemblence it bears to present or future outcomes is purely coincidental. I am not part of a secret society, I do not belong to the FBI, CIA nor am I psychic or a prophet. nor a in any other government or education position. This is just a story from a a woman looking and listening plainly and simply upon the world. A woman who when she travels and returns to her homeland of America gets a tear of appreciation in her eye and does bend down and kiss the ground. Well, without further delay... The Ant and the Grasshopper - Version 3, Current Reality?

Or you could just be a republican (spider), ask no one what they think, implement laws and take actions that violate everyone's constitutional rights and are based on fiction but make up a report that fixes the facts and present it to the American people so that we can "nod" in agreement to go to war. Taking advantage of the fact that no one is listening and/or they can not read and/or they can not speak the English language and/or if they can we have not taught them the critical thinking skills to make sense of what they are reading. Oh and cut education funding again b/c they obviously have a good thing going! As a democrat just sit there and say in the softest mousiest voice possible "this is so terrible and wrong, whatever shall we do?" - oh its election time have to make sure I say/do the right thing to keep me in a job. However whatever it is we (spiders and mice) say/do lets make sure it is near impossible under current rules to let an Independent into presidential candidate debates - god forbid we let a lion enter the arena. So where were we.....

,,,yes we sent ourselves to war...now this war is all about "helping" Country A, B, C, X, Y and Z (none of which have actually asked for our help), and it is about helping top republicans fill their personal pockets and the pockets of its friends with as much money as they can before being are voted out. And this has nothing to do with the general Joe/Jane American republican it has only to do with the <1% of Americans (read a minority portion of US citizens) that happen to be friends and are "in" the Bush oil cartel. (Curious Question: What style of government is it that represents and carries out plans that are based on a select "elite" minority of the population and basically ignores the voice of the general public by skewing public opinion and rigging presidential elections?) . Oh and by the way while their pockets are filling up this country is in some of its worst debt ever and the majority of the people who were just making it and a little beyond are now in financial trouble themselves. Our deficit leads to us relying on places like China who do those little annoying things like poison our pets and children and demoralize, murder, and violate human rights of their own people on a daily basis. And that is only the beginning of the China story..... (lest we not forget Africa but at this point we as Americans are just stealing from them with cheap goods/labor, supporting their black markets while we likely somehow are involved with supplying them with weapons and watch them kill themselves over diamonds, ivory, etc. and the fact that they don't have enough water and food which makes these basic needs a commodity and something for people to fight each other for to gain control and power over...but that is another story). Let's get back to the American ants and grasshoppers...

The next natural disaster strikes making Katrina and the 2008 flooding of the midwest look like a small thing. Now ALL the ants and ALL the grasshoppers are out on the street. There is no one to listen to them and no one to help b/c (1.) no one knows how to work anymore and even if they did they don't have the skills b/c we have contracted everything out to India, China (and Ireland is now on the charts for offshore contracting) (2.) no one knows how to think beyond a 6th grade education b/c we lowered our standards so that we didn't have to hold Joe/Jane American back a grade b/c the schools would get penalized with even less funding for the next year. So even if we could put together a viable solution it will be dumbed down to what little we have taught our children and (3.) there is no more money, american currency has collapsed, b/c we spent it by creating a false economy in the first place (seen in mortgage crisis, banks going belly up, Oil prices, and on and on), entering mindless wars that sent many young and old vital Americans to their death in Afghanistan, then Iraq and Iran and then country X, Y, Z all b/c we couldn't get our facts straight and a few greedy people wanted to create a bustling wartime economy. Years later, we are still at war and running low on all resources putting the average age of soldiers at 15 year old boys and girls. So when we are finally educationally, psychologically, economically weakened enough and the foreign soldiers land on our soil to "help" just like the Americans exemplified how to "help" a country in need...which will make the people who pulled off 9/11 look like a bunch of amateurs. This foreign help while on American soil includes taking over our country one day at a time - remember these people are not from a democracy so they will be implementing their version of ethics and morality and that which they deem "right", "appropriate" and "most correct" relative to them (the foreigners who are bringing and applying their version of "help" which also does not include getting American input). We have no more soldiers left here b/c they are all sitting on foreign soil and we can't get them back home b/c we have no money left to deal with the cost of transportation. Whatever is here and b/c it is all too expensive to run, we don't even have the resources to get our battleships, war planes and tanks into position to defend ourselves... but even if we did Joe/Jane American found out that everyone didn't get a trophy for completing boot camp and that they actually had to break a sweat so they contracted to have the African people (obviously with plenty of training and skill on the types and uses of different American weaponry by now) to become paid members of the American Army. But guess what - we have no money left to pay this Army but the other country that is "helping" us does. So now we have supplied them with the most expensive equipment and training all so they can use it against us and gain some ground and land and get their people out of the hellish desert devoid of food, water, shelter, sustainable existence that they sit in. In the mean time, we ask Canada for help but Canada doesn't care - never did - we really never paid attention to them or treated them with much respect (they don't take it personally b/c frankly they know that is how we treat everybody), Central and South America are so corrupt and they are just fine seeing us divided and conquered and can't wait to start offloading even more people on our borders b/c they can't deal with them and they have their own issues fulfilling the basic food/water/shelter needs of their people. England has its own problems (maybe they are still secretly pissed about our gaining Independence), India is sitting pretty b/c they have all our jobs and have are now known as AmericaTheSecondTimeAround. Russia, Japan, France and Italy and any other country really don't want anything to do with any more of our wars b/c they see how we lie and manipulate everyone, even our to our own countrymen. Israel is about the size of a postage stamp and by the way they only have 5 people left in the region b/c they and their Palestinian neighbor just endlessly kill each other day in and day out. Do we have any allies anymore - we have managed to alienate and piss off just about everyone and we have no more money so what good are we? We can't even pay the dues to be in the super power fraternity we created in the first place and in our greed and power hungry stance back in the day we created impossible rules that now keep us from having a voice in the world? ....

Now back to the invasion of American soil, yes...so the foreign troops (bigger, meaner, more hateful spiders) - whoever it is round up the ants and grasshoppers change their language, "give" them public housing and make them work in factories and fields for under a $1.00 a day....although it wouldn't be measured dollars b/c there is no more American currency... and oh yeah...there isn't a political party in sight there is no longer a choice except that you either submit to the will of others without so much making a peep, or be put to death or into prison camp.

Despite all the good Americans have done and all the aid and support we have given at appropriate times/places and reasons, Americans are now habitually expemplifiying country by county that we find the least bit bothersome all those sides of those behaviors above. We think we have it bad now? Hang on everyone this has real potential to get a whole lot worse.

Moral 1:

What a person/group/country gives out really does and always will come back to around to them - be it blessings or beatings that were given out in the first place.

Comment on Moral 1:
So, the sooner everybody wakes up and really they better wake up, start educating themselves and their kids about what it is to live in a democracy, how it is that the apathy of the American people - each and every one of us over the last 30 + years has gotten us exactly where we are today as a country and what we can do now to stop this country from becoming any further embarrassing and hypocritical than it already is. Blame the government all you want (past, present and future), but in doing so in a democracy that also means every single American citizen that participates or not must take on some of the responsibility of that blame. Get off the drugs and alcohol, and gambling and any other addictions, get off the attitude of thinking you are "more deserving" than anyone else, get back to having standards and work ethic, and start being grateful for what we do have here and realize that we as Americans have much left to do and need to redirect this country b/c we are no longer falling fast behind....we are behind. That my friends has nothing to do with being a republican, democrat or independent - it has everything to do with YOU/US relearning how to be an better Americans, in the very fast changing ways and needs of current world situations, getting our American priorities straight (and guess what none of these priorities need include getting a McMansion and keeping up with the Jones and the Smiths - b/c if you take a look the Jones and the Smiths are now out of a McHome and foraging dumpsters of their last favorite 5 star restaurants for this evenings mea and tomorrows breakfast toastl). What are the real priorities you ask? Its a great and I guess we better get that question on the table and get it figured out real fast and keep refiguring it out, taking appropriate action, and keep doing so from here until the end of Earth so we can stay on course (not take it for granted) b/c as we know somebody ALWAYS moves the cheese Yes?!

Moral 2:

Start caring, stop giving up, giving in and start recognizing and envisioning a better America and start becoming it.

Comment on Moral 2:
Stop expecting a pat on the back, reward, trophy, recognition for every darn time you think you deserve it, and stop expecting a "get-out-of-jail-free" card when you have done wrong and own up to it! Stop wasting time being your neighbors enemy (be it your literal next store neighbor or someone 10 states away), stop suing each other and wasting the courts time, stop expecting Jane and Joe American to get passed to the next grade when they actually failed b/c they were texting their friends or being neglected. No more blaming! Take responsibility, for the good, the beautiful, as well as the bad and the ugly, wo/man-up, find our backbones, and recover our honor, our integrity, a truly kind and peaceful nature - send a real message of peace by being peace. If you want changes then Stand up FOR those things Stop standing against all the things we don't want - as that actually just actually perpetuates the argument and we have done nothing to further our plans for action to bring us what we do want changed b/c we been standing out side saying "we won't take it anymore". Oh really, then why are you standing there saying that, still taking it and doing NOTHING to actually change whatever it is you "won't take anymore". We are strong, we have the know-how, and the power as individuals to turn this around to help ourselves. We are just confused, disoriented and out of practice. And if we are waiting for anyone but us to help ... well guess what... there is no one out coming to 'save" our red,white and star spangled blue butts. There really is no one that can help...frankly we are not their problem but we are the source of our own problems.

The American public as a group is the true leader of this country...we have people in office to represent the voice of this leader. The people in office are NOT our leaders - they are a representatives that get to speak on behalf of the majority voice of the leaders that is given by voting, communicating (religiously) via our democratic process in our country. Again, THE LEADERS OF THIS AMERICAN COUNTRY and within a DEMOCRACY IS IT'S VOTING PEOPLE VOTING (i.e., every single voting American citizen is a leader). Is some of it broken, at this point yes...but we gottta find where its broken and fix it! Sometime as an individual the majority voice will align with our individual voice, sometimes it won't - but you have to be flexible, patient and keep with the process - not just quit, throw a temper tantrum and then scream "my vote doesn't count - why bother to ever vote again" and then never vote again. It is frustrating, but grow up that is life and yes it is the last thing anyone needs but just b/c you don't vote doesn't mean it won't keep it from being frustrating all over again! Get involved, stay involved, in our democracy and become part of the voice and the action that helps us start taking this country into its potential - let's get our own back yard cleaned up and operational and along the way get back to being world-class people with world-class ideas (science, art, economy, food/farming, etc.) that are contributing honest, goodly, intelligent and thoughtful "things" to this world and lets be the ones participating in a way that speaks to world-class stewardship of our Earth and citizenry in this Universe and beyond. >

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Part 1: The Ant and the Grasshopper Story - morals 1 and 2

2008-07-13T13:16:34Z

NOTE: This is a supplement to the entry above (Part 2: The Ant and the Grasshopper....). I am not posting this b/c I agree with what is written here...again it was what inspired me to write Part 2. So this was one of those "jokes" going around the Internet right now.... (note that I did not author any of the following and I really don't know who did...but this is what showed up in my mail box this morning....)

This one is a little different.. Two Different Versions! Two Different Morals!

OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

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MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Bein g Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, President Obama approves the EEOC draft from the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act ,retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed, when he was in office, from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008

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Are you having trouble understanding some of the major problems and wrongs...?

2008-05-04T15:40:02Z

Having trouble understanding some of the major problems and wrongs currently (and continually) happening and snowballing at an astonishing speed on this Big Blue Marble of ours? Here let me help Pink further the message and clarify things a bit more...

WE HAVE NOT COME TO TAKE PRISONERS

2007-08-28T10:51:13Z

by Hafiz

We have not come here to take prisoners,
But to surrender ever more deeply
To freedom and joy.

We have not come into this exquisite world
To hold ourselves hostage from love.

Run my dear,
From anything
That may not strenghten
Your precious budding wings.

Run like hell my dear,
From anyone likely
To put a sharp knife
Into the sacred, tender vision
Of your beautiful heart.

We have a duty to befriend
Those aspects of obedience
That stand outside of our house
And shout to our reason
"O please, O please,
Come out and play."

For we have not come here to take prisoners
Or to confine our wondrous spirits,

But to experience ever and ever more deeply
Our divine courage, freedom, and
Light!

Going back to friends-only postings...

2007-08-08T11:25:24Z

Been thinking about it, and I am switching back to friends-only journal view of my posts. I don't really know if it matters much, but... that's what I feel like doing for now. So, if you have a Live Journal (LJ) account great, let's do the whole friends thing. If you don't have a LJ account, get one...its free and there is absolutely no obligation for you to journal if you get an account ;)... LJ accounts can be created via https://www.livejournal.com/create.bml

To be added to my friends list - respond to this post under the "leave a comment" link below, or email me via user_info page.

Peace,
Ess

Saved by the cell....

2007-08-06T20:56:26Z

from my normal Monday evening activities...which unfortunately was causing some stress, angst and just generally bumming me out today... So early today I asked the Universe for some input and ... Late this afternoon as I was unfolding and preparing today's batch of metal paper clips I am interrupted by an incoming call on my cell. --brrring--brring--

Me - Hello - WHATSUP?! (Its a best gal pal of mine)
Pal - HEEEEYYYYY, we got VIP tix and parking pass for tonight's concert on the river.
Me - Ooooh ! (me really thinks, ewwwww but ok cool its free and VIP - good for them!). Gee sounds great...and well that's there's some High School nostaligia for ya - have fun -last time we listened to them was a 100 years ago in 10th grade!
Pal - Yeah, and the best part is you my best buddy ever get to come along b/c I can't possibly take all this nostalgia in alone...
Me - Oh, so we best friends?
Pal - Since Kindergarten!
Me - Can't remember that far back - you sure? (haha)
Pal - And dearest Ess please please come along - it'll be fun fun FUN - or at least we'll have fun !
Me - Ok then BFF ...Then LET'S ROCK on the river tonight!
Pal - Did I tell you that my husband is bringing his friend for you as a date.
Me - Huh?! (--sigh--, kaRap, as it is, like this is the last thing I need). Wrangled, lassoed and rounded up by my best friend turned Cowgirl!
Pal - That's right! GiddyUP! Alrighty - gotta go, guess we'll see you at seven.
Me - wwwwaiiittt...
Pal - uh, nope... free VIP tix, free beer, free food, private bathrooms, a fine date and good friends...no brainer, yer coming... YIPPPEE!!
Both: (fits of laughter and egging each other on about the whole ordeal)

I commence with the daily paper clip brain stabbings -- oy vey, side-to-side head shake, slight giggle ... --

Less is best?

2007-08-04T12:21:54Z

I dunno but I am just sticking with the mood for today's post and will keep it to a minimum - just feeling quiet - perhaps sometimes less really is more. Thank you very very very much for this day.

Who would you be without your story of this, that and the other thing?

2007-08-03T09:10:59Z

I love questioning my stories and it would seem I got a couple really good ones happening this morning - the onion type, you peel through one layer of it, and another and then you get to the pearl of the onion. Fascinating! I probably don't do this inquiry [The Work] near enough, but then again...everything is as it is and that is no mistake.

So for good reason, Byron Katie (aka Katie) is a strong undercurrent in my thoughts these days. Of course I shall do the sane thing and point my canoe to go with the current and do some of The Work today on some of my juiciest stories.

In the mean time, here are some tidbits of wisdom I pulled up from Katie's vast collection of sweet simplicity ...

+ Everyone and everything is doing its job perfectly -- no mistake.
(Where the BK gem took Essbee : Noting BK's mention of the idea that there are only three kinds of business, mine, yours and the Universe's when you think it should be different, ask yourself who's business you are in? If its not your own business...then troubles a brewin' and time to inquire and start finding and minding my own business.)

+ The world is my perception of it. I see and hear only through the filter of my story.
(Where the BK gem took Essbee: So it would seem a wise idea to stop investing blindly into the storybook of thoughts and question/inquire them, and perhaps there'll be one less filter skewing things beyond what Is and the allowance that makes room for a truer and most capable Self to emerge and guide.)

+ I don't let go of concepts -- I question them. Then they let go of me.
(Where the BK gem took Essbee: the method of inquiry; ask four questions and turn it around.)

What is the stressful thought, the concept that causes you stress?
1. Is it True?
2. Can you absolutely know it's true?
--> can you know more than reality (aka, than what Is)
3. What happens to you, how do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be right here/right now without the thought?

Finally do the Turn-around(s) on the thought

(more info here --> http://www.thework.com/thework.asp#2)

+ Reality is always kinder than the story we tell [ourselves] about it.
(Where the BK gem took Essbee: Thank heavens there is something bigger than this "me", b/c while I can appreciate this little one, geesh the storybook of thoughts it can so creatively weave into some sort of believable psuedoreality at times are nothing short of madness and entrapments that can be cold, punishing, heart-wrenching and produce some serious bouts of insanity - none of which, in the end, is warranted or necessary.)

Laughter & Lightness,
Ess

YipYipYipee IT'S FRIDAY at last!!! Cheers and beers to that!

Yoga Mind, Yoga Heart, Yoga Eyes

2007-08-02T13:04:23Z

My last few weeks on this earth have been simply some of the most amazing and wondrous to date. I have finally been discovering and working with Yoga asanas as a daily practice. Steadily 5-7 times a week and the effects are numerous and occurring on every level of my being. There is no turning back and in fact I am finding that it is but an introduction and invitation with all kinds of momentum and portals to all kinds of possibility, potential and reality. The power of practice is gentle, the energy shifts are accompanied by new levels of comfort, compassion, and acceptance with oneself. (Note this is not the kind of power you consume or try to consume, its more of a wave that you ride ...another post perhaps.) It is ever clear to me, that every ounce of destruction and destitution that occurred in every single area of my life over the last twenty-some years ( but especially the last 5-6 years) was somehow perfect and preparatory for exactly where I am today. So I guess I can finally say thank you to the Universe (whom at one time, in ignorance and denial, I was condemning as cruel, heartless, and unforgiving - which in hindsight is a thought that is nothing short of knee-slapping humor! ), but now I can say "hey there big "U" - no hard feelings" and I embody further the experiences and practice of forgiveness that had been thrust upon my daily life - especially noted over the last two years. What a gift, eh! However bare in mind that there is no one path to any part of the many limbs of yoga practice. Arrival is unique to each an every person that ends up on its doorstep, and asana's are only part of it.

So it is that once again I am falling in love with the world, every one and every thing in it all over again and rediscovering innocence and beauty. So relieved to be feeling this state and these places again - so thankful b/c I thought the ability to feel this state of love was long gone and taken any innocence and beauty with it. Yes, the innocence that I so willingly and carelessly tattered and shredded via a series of experiences of the same type but wrapped differently, that I so brashly chose over and over again all these years. Yet, also taking the lesson and knowing that my experiences provides a better foundation for being in such a state and do so much more constructively.

Opening to love, beauty and grace to a degree that it almost begs you to think that you are "losing it". As I said to my wonderful yoga instructor last night, "I am one brain cell shy of shedding all possession and heading to the ashram for a good long time". (As I am having a difficult time reasoning why I should exist in any other state outside of a yogic one - but that's another topic for another day). Finally coming into the idea that opening to all this is just expanding ones' capability for receiving True and Powerful life sustaining Energy. This furthers to one finding those true next steps on one's own path and in doing it in one's own way.

I am so grateful for today; grateful for my cup of hot oatmeal perfected with cinnamon, banana, and remaining tidbits of an organic dark chocolate bar; grateful for musical sounds and lyrics that carry me out of thought, and into the breath of now; grateful for the back bend of yoga class this week that remind me of keeping my heart open to love and acceptance of all that comes and goes in day.

Finally I am compelled to include the lyrics of another fabulous David Gray song, "My Oh My"

What on earth is going on in my heart
Has it turned as cold as stone
Seems these days I don't feel anything
Less it cuts me right down to the bone
What on earth is going on in my heart

My oh my you know it just don't stop
It's in my mind I wanna tear it up
I've tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it's not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end
My oh my

What on earth is going on in my head
You know I used to be so sure
You know I used to be so definite
Thought I knew what love was for
I look around these days and I'm not so sure

My oh my you know it just don't stop
It's in my mind I wanna tear it up
I've tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it's not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end
My oh my you know I just can't win
I burn it down it comes right back again
What kinda world is this we're living in
where you never win
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love these days
To keep your heart from freezing
To keep your spirit free

My oh my you know it just don't stop
It's in my mind I wanna tear it up
I've tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it's not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end
My oh my it just don't stop
My oh my it just don't stop
My oh my it just don't stop etc. etc.

Goddess Bless,
Ess

Byron kind of day...

2007-07-31T11:52:51Z

An unquestioned mind is the world of suffering.

-- Byron Katie, The Work

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

-- Lord Byron (1788-1824) English Poet

Fresh Cool Lemonade - anyone?!

2006-10-17T19:06:55Z

So often in life we wish things would happen this way or that and then they don't. Then you remember that when you argue with reality you lose, but only a 100% of the time. With odds like that - what idiot is going to argue with what IS? Perhaps we figure out what is right, good and beautiful with right now. A very little bit of what I have learned in my short life - no particular order...

Staying positive - truly and authentically positive, counts and goes a long long way. This is the sunshine that makes and keeps the tree healthy and bears the best fruit - no matter what the Farmer's Almanac says for that year.

Practice forgivness of self, others and the Universe at large, know that nothing / no one is out to get you. Life is really quite a bit more impersonal than that - it really doesn't have the time, patience or dexterity to run around just targeting individuals and causing grief to singled out individuals ... it gives everyone grief sometimes and other times it gives everyone good stuffs. Yet as long as forgivness can be likened to eating rotted fruit there is still forgiving to do, so keep practicing.

Knowing that what is suppose to be is what is happening. It is the the water that fills the glass and the ice that quenches the stings, burns and heat.

Remaining open to the Light, letting the Light in your heart and mind and feeding your spirit, and let the light be the eyes that acknowledge darkness and keep fears at bay. Its the natural sweetner.

Friends and family are serious business, but can also be a whole lot of fun - be it in relation to yourself and to others. Sometimes our friends are family and somtimes family are our friends and lots of times it is a mix of both. Surrounding ourselves and surrounding others in our highest good is to keeping true friends and family, and is most certainly a life long journey of knowing ourselves and being honest and kind to our brothers and sisters. Friends and family adds spice and variety. We must share the harvest, good years and not so.

Mix with twists of special stuff...

Giving above and beyond what we think we have
Growing above beyond what one thinks should and shouldn't be
Learning to capital "L" Love on top of learning to love
Being Kind and Compassionate to oneself and knowing that this is where you are genuine to others
Having gratitude for the things that appear in life whether we understand them or not
Appreciating what you have instead of looking at what you don't
Remembering life is perfectly imperfect and it will remain that way perfectly so.
Learning that happiness won't find you, rather you find it within you
No matter you keep moving onward and upward and keep going toward the light, keep being, living, dreaming, dancing, playing, creating, and loving

Yet, another accolade to the GREAT Marshmallow Peep!

2006-10-03T02:24:48Z

Marshmallow Peeps Snug Cookies
(created by essbee_elle for Fall 2006)
editing note - this has been reposted in a failed attempt to fix ljcut links within doc - not sure why they are opening up all at the same time - need to do a little faq lookup but here it is for now.

These are tasty little cookie treats that use a basic chocolate sugar cookie dough and Marshmallow Peeps as a delicious filling.

First of all, I am originally from the Land of Peeps. So I always have a supply of these around. The Just Born candy company (http://www.justborn.com ) is in my home town. I was privileged enough to live in the same neighborhood as the factory in the 1990's when my mom and I finally moved to higher ground after her divorce.

Late one night having a nightcap and feeling very happy to be back in my own kitchen, I got the irresistible urge to whip up some confectionary delight. I was having a definitel hankering for chocolate but not a candy bar or ice cream, wanted more of a cookie. Well, I definitely didn't want to go out to buy anything so I started scanning my cabinets and fridgy for ingredients and possibilities. Flour - check, sugar - check, butter - check, vanilla - check, egg - check, Ghiradelli unsweetened cocoa powder - check and the rest of the usal ingredients seemed all set.

Then I did a quick search and came along this recipe on the Internet for roll-out sugar cookies. Much too late and much too impatient to go through the whole dough roll-out and cookie cutter process I decided to continue on with the recipe and see what I could do with it even knowing that - I had no intention of creating cut-out cookies. I had the ingredients to make the recipe and spontaneity to wing the end product. I started to look at the recipe more closely - it had jam filled version.., a second quick scan of the kitchen cabinets showed I had no jam and I was out of powered sugar. Bummer, and I was still digging around the pantry looking for that touch of pizzazz to add to the plain old sugar cookie. I knew there must be something that my creative cook-from-the-hip style could conjure up... A last visit to the back to the fridge turned up some butterscotch carmel used for ice cream - hmmm, not the easiest to work with - too liquidy. A final visit to the back pantry, searching low and high, digging deep and there it was (angels singing)....

ONE LONE FRESH PACKAGE OF PINK BUNNY MARSHMALLOW PEEPS on the very top shelf! I grabbed it with squeals of joy and delight.... Let the cookie making begin!

As mentioned above the rolling out the dough was not going to happen but I was absolutely going to make chocolate sugar cookies with peep stuffin. What a great use of left over peeps. And who doesn't love a variation of adding the great peep to one's diet. I just knew they would provide a tasty filling to the plain old chocolate sugar cookie.

Turned on the oven to pre-heat and began following the recipe below. I did substitute for the ounce of unsweetened chocolate b/c all I had was cocoa power (by the way always go for top-shelf cocoa power and baking chocolate - as it absolutely does make a tasty difference). The usual conversion is:

1-ounce (1 square) unsweetened chocolate = 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa and 1 tablespoon shortening or oil.

The recipe calls for 3 oz of unsweetened chocolate and therefore would have needed 9 tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa and 3 tablespoons of shortening/oil.

HOWEVER I was cooking from the hip and using what was available and therefore did the following substitution and it worked out great.... 5 rounded tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa powder and NO oil/shortening. (side note...even if I would have had oil and shortening I probably would not have used it here..more in notes below)

Also I did NOT refrigerate the dough but did offset this by NOT melting the butter to a liquid in the microwave. Yes I softened the butter in the microwave and it did get liquidy, but I didn't liquidate it all the way - just enough to make mixing easy.

Also I did NOT opt to roll the cookies in sugar before placing them on the baking sheet, although I still show this as an option below.

Using a metal mixing bowl I combined the flour, baking soda, salt, blended with a large fork, then poured the combined wet incredients into the dry ingredients are mixed together very well. Once the dough comes together, it is fine to use your hands to knead it for just a few minutes and make it into one large dough ball or separate it into a few dough balls. Please note that there is no reason to over mix/knead the cookie dough - as you will be working the dough with your hands as you make the cookies). Just handle it enough to collect it all from the sides and work in any left over dry ingredients that need working in and then quickly form into neat dough ball(s).

To make the cookies, I started taking a 1.5 - 2.5 tablespoon size chunks and patting them out into large circles in the palm of my hand - the dough was great to work with. My cookies turened out kind of big - but they worked b/c they aren't a really "heavy" cookie. I then started decapitating the peep heads from the bodies and putting them in the center of the dough circles and folding the dough in - like covering it with a blanket. I believe at this stage I was chanting-singing to myself "snug as a bug in a rug"...so you get the picture.. If there wasn't enough dough to cover, I simply took a little bit more from the bowl, palm pressed it out and added it to the "rug" that was covering the peep. Some I couldnt get working and I just smushed together and continued to "shape" it, until it was all covered. Finally placing each onto the cookie stone sheet and gave it one last final pat to flatten it to the cookie stone. Populated the cookie stone with 9-12 cookies, put it in the oven - and very much feeling a little like the witch in Hansel and Gretel - and let the peep cookies bake.

Note 1: baking times and baking sheets: All ovens vary so use the timing in the recipe as a guideline but you'll have to keep your eye on it - usually by the time chocolate cookies turn brown on the bottom - they are really a bit more to the burned side than you want them. Mine had a very even chocolate color all over - generally consistent in color on both the tops and the bottoms and the cookie centers.

Note 2: And also while I used a cookie stone - b/c that is what I happened to pull out of my cabinet that night - I see no reason that a regular cookie sheet can't be used.

Note 3: Not doing the full conversion of unsweetened choc. squares to cocoa powder + oil - again...even if I would have had oil and shortening I probably would not have used it here...for no good reason other than why add more fat? does it need it? based on look, consistency, quick taste test.... all appeared in order and I just had a "feel" that it was fine without it. In hindsight - and I am not certain, but may have contributed to a less moist cookie - gave it more of that a poptart consistency - but this is exactly what I ended up really liking about these and again it worked great as a snack with tea.

Note 4: When I determined my cookies to be done, I pulled them out of the oven and let them cool on the stone for a 3-5 minutes (b/c I was busy making more cookies). I then removed them and put them on a plate - but I intend to use a cooling rack next time.

Note 5: I believe you could probably use a whole peep in a cookie if you like extra stuffing. I plan to try this on my next batch. By the way the actual choc. sugar cookie recipe from below can be found in its entirety at http://www.christmas-cookies.com/recipes/recipe66.chocolatesugarcookies.html

Note 6: I did try a few with butterscotch carmel filling - but it didn't work out with the filling that I had - the sugar got too cooked and sticky - very very bad for the teeth and not comfortable to eat. Next time I plan on testing out other fillings; fresh/natural peanut butter or maybe even a walnut/pecan butter using my magic bullet blender and also would like to try a pepermint patty filling :).

End Result 1: The big test, my girlfriend and I had a belated Fall Celebration Tea at my house the following day. Along with some wonderful organic tea, we broke out special Irish china teacups and plates and I served these as our "tea cakes". She loved them so much she couldn't stop eating them (neither of us could) and I promised to post the recipe here. They actually taste a bit like chocolate pop-tarts.

End Result 2: Anyway, this whole idea and modified recipe will be the latest addition to my cookbook! Its pretty easy and kid friendly, too. I must say that I really liked the results I got with the cookie stone. Unfortunately I don't have pictures of the assembly/baking process - I intend to take pictures during my next batch that I am making Halloween. I am thinking about making them little coffins for the Halloween version I plan to make - since there are Halloween peeps out now, and then when they bake up the peeps would be all deformed and such - kinda Adam's family creepy cookie style- but hey that's Halloween ghoul, gore and fun ; ). If anyone uses a cookie sheet let me know how it goes.

Chocolate Sugar Cookies
Makes about 40
(the number of packages of Marshmallow Peeps you need depends on how you plan to incorporate the peeps into the dough - 2- 3 packages should do it though.)

3 ounces unsweetened chocolate
1 cup butter
1 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt

Optional: additional sugar

Microwave chocolate and margarine in large microwavable bowl on high 2 minutes or until margarine is melted (again, I used butter - and did not completely liquify - modification text above). Stir until chocolate is completely melted. Stir 1 cup sugar into melted chocolate mixture until well blended. Stir in egg and vanilla until completely blended. Mix in flour, baking soda and salt. (Refrigerate 30 minutes - opted not to do this, see notes above). Heat oven to 375 F. Shape dough into 1" balls;

Optional: roll in additional sugar.

Bake 8-10 minutes or until set. Remove from cookie sheets to cool on wire
racks.

Decorate with icing and sprinkles, if desired.

If you happen along and have any questions about the recipe and/or its modifications please post a comment.

Eno did it and Oh so well!

2006-09-13T15:26:00Z

Fabulous Job, Eno!
Great Finish!!!!

I am so proud of you for getting through your personal misgivings with the boy, and getting yourself to Rachacha for your mini-triathalon! You even broke your running time, glad I could be a part of that and so glad our training sessions continue to work for the both of us!

Again, Congratulations darlin' and Welcome to the world of Tri-athletica! ( Who knows you keep on me long enough, maybe I will join you next season. ;) ).

Rest up and let me know when you are ready to hit the trails running, again. And the competitive 6K trail run is on my schedule for October!